


The Magic Light Thingies Aren’t Dicks, They’re Hearts Actually

by midnightstarlightwrites



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Adorable Jester Lavorre, Awkward Romance, Caleb Widogast Deserves Nice Things, F/M, Pining, Romance, We found love at Traveller Con, awkward spellcasting, caleb thinks a lot, musing about burning, travellercon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 14:20:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22497481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightstarlightwrites/pseuds/midnightstarlightwrites
Summary: Caleb was a man who thought. A lot. He thought and thought and thought; came up with all sorts of clever and interesting spells, planned to do the impossible. It was easier to think about things.Feeling was harder. And, sure, Caleb felt a lot too. But he liked to pretend he didn’t. All the better to cope with the bad emotions. All the pain, the guilt, the shame, the loss.Then there were times, like tonight, where the thinking side of him and the feeling side were both working in tandem.~Caleb and Jester get their flirt on at traveller con.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre & Caleb Widogast, Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 1
Kudos: 93





	The Magic Light Thingies Aren’t Dicks, They’re Hearts Actually

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Baneismydragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baneismydragon/gifts).



> EEEK! My first critfic!!! Hope you like it <3

Although the world's first Traveller Con was an undeniable success, Caleb had to admit there was one glaring issue. The location.

After Jester’s opening ceremony, a fantastic display of lights and lava and colour, the party started in full swing. A sea of green coats swayed to the music. Drinks were passed around in earnest. More drinks followed- and more still after that. Caleb himself was more than happy to indulge, especially with the relief that this had not all been a trick- that his friend’s diety was more along the lines of The Wildmother than Uk’otoa. 

But, you see, the drink and the location. That was where the problem arose. As his alcohol consumption increased, so too did his body heat. Watching Jester, glowing in the light of her own success and the lava flow proved to be too much for him. Forcing himself to look away, he made his way through the man-made cave entrance of the volcano towards the cool night air, his heartbeat erratic all the while.

Wading through the crowd of dancing friends and strangers alike, Caleb watched for the others as a distraction, grinning to himself when he spotted Beau. She was going to have a killer hangover the next morning for sure, judging by the strangely erratic movements he supposed was her version of dancing. It looked more like she was trying to rhythmically fight the air around her.

After dodging past more of his friends, in varying stages of inebriation, he finally reached the mouth of the cave. The crispness of the night caressed his cheeks, soothing where it was once burning. He sighed, closing his eyes and trying hard to feel at peace, to calm his still racing heart.

Walking away a few paces, he sat down and stared upwards at the sky, at the twinkling stars- thinking.

Caleb was a man who thought. A lot. He thought and thought and thought; came up with all sorts of clever and interesting spells, planned to do the impossible. It was easier to think about things. 

Feeling was harder. And, sure, Caleb felt a lot too. But he liked to pretend he didn’t. All the better to cope with the bad emotions. All the pain, the guilt, the shame, the loss.

Then there were times, like tonight, where the thinking side of him and the feeling side were both working in tandem. Perhaps it was the alcohol, swishing around his system, twirling around in his mind, making things move together that he usually preferred to keep separate.

Regardless, Caleb sat. He sat and stared at those unhelpful stars. He sat. He thought.

He felt.

All of these things. For one person.

“Caleb! Why are you out here by yourself?”

Ah. And there she was. The person causing all of his mind-emotion melding. The person making him feel too warm.

He offered Jester a smile as she came and dropped beside him, stretching out her legs with a contented sigh. “It was hot in there, yes?”

Jester nodded, humming in agreement. “Yeah. Really hot. But so much fun! Don’t you think it’s been so much fun?” her eyes widened with excitement, but Caleb could see the touch of lingering uncertainty within them. She grabbed his arm, and Caleb felt it  _ burn _ .

“The Traveller is very proud of you, I am sure,” Caleb reassured. “It is a resounding success.”

Caleb was used to burning things. Used to fire, used to destruction.

How very confusing it was that  _ this  _ burning, this kind of heat, was the opposite of all of that. Jester’s soft sound of relief, her vulnerable little smile, the way she touched his arm, it did burn him. But it was a good kind of burn. A wonderful kind. 

Did it have the ability to consume him? To destroy him? Yes. All fires did. But he trusted Jester to never allow that to happen. More importantly, he trusted himself. For the first time in many years, he trusted that this would not burn him badly.

“Thank you Caleb. You’re a wonderful friend. You always say such nice things to me,” Jester let go of his hand, resting against his whole side instead. For a moment, she sank into him more and Caleb could feel how tired she was.

He rested his cheek on top of Jester’s head, unthinkingly. “Well, you always say kind things to me. I would be a bad friend if I did not reciprocate.”

Jester chuckled. “I don’t think you could ever be a bad friend Caleb. Unless you turned your light show magic thingies into dicks when I was dancing before. Then you would be a TERRIBLE friend. But also that would have been a good prank so I’m torn on that. You didn’t do that, right?”

Caleb shook his head fondly. “They were all unicorns and lollipops,” he promised, then cheekily added, “Mostly. There was only one dick.”

Jester gasped, sitting up abruptly. “CALEB!”

Although she sounded offended, the mischievous smile she returned let Caleb know she was in on the joke.

He held his hands up in surrender. “Just kidding.”

Rolling her eyes, Jester laughed and the pair settled into a comfortable silence for a few moments more. Eventually Jester looked behind her. “I better get back to the party! But before I go, could you show me your magic light spell again?”

Caleb peered down at her, half shadowed in the night, dark blue hair shining in the faint light of the stars. He stared down at his legs, heat creeping up all over again. “Sure.”

Without giving it much thought, his mind preoccupied with something else at that moment in time, Caleb conjured the spell. At once the air around them was lit up with amber glowing lollipops and unicorns and Jester cooed at them.

Caleb was more than content to watch this show of affection until her mouth opened and she clapped her hands together in delight. “Is that a heart?!”

The spell dropped in an instant.

He hadn’t seen the spell. He didn’t know if there was a heart there, if he’d accidentally conjured one in his drunken state. But what he did know was that he was prepared to lie through his teeth about it. “No.”

“There was! There was a little heart right there, you made a little heart!”

“I didn’t see,” Caleb rose to his feet, turning his head away.

“Caleb,” Jester’s voice teased, also standing up. “You  _ love _ me!”

“Of course I do,” he blurted before he could stop himself, then quickly corrected. “I love all of the Mighty Nein. Beau and Nott, Fjord and Caduceus and Yasha. Of course. Though I do not say it that much- I do. But I did not see any little hearts so perhaps maybe you were mistaken, ja?”

Jester leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek and stopping his sudden and uncharacteristic spiel. 

And Caleb did the opposite of burn. He froze.

“We love you too, Caleb,” she looked away, her smile becoming shy, and Caleb could see the blush spread across her own cheeks. She stepped back, hands fiddling with the fabric of her cloak. What? “I think some of us love you more than you know, more than they knew they did before. Maybe we’re just starting to realise it, actually, how much you mean to m- to us.”

She turned around, calling over her shoulder. “Don’t stay out here too long! I would like to dance with you again you know!”

Caleb reached up, fingers brushing against the spot Jester kissed, only just realising he hadn’t breathed since her lips touched him.

“I know,” he whispered to himself. “I would like to dance with you too.”

He followed her inside.

**Author's Note:**

> comments feed my writing soul ^_^ thank you!


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